Leo.

Damn, this Apocalypse they keep talking about is getting late! I’m dead anxious waiting for it.

*****

This tough life is killing me. I hope an easy death will keep me alive.

*****

They say you’re not really dead as long as you keep living in your other significant ones’ heart. Would you let me at least make me a beautiful apartment in your heart just to keep living there comfortly?

*****

I’m not afraid of death. I just get freaking scared of how creepy the word “death” sounds.

*****

Why they say: “The criminal was sentenced to life”? They should say “sentenced till death”

If someone comes up with a joke about me, before I invent it, that means they’re really perspicacious.

*****************

Yesterday I was so sick that I thought I had my both feet in the grave. Today, I feel a little better, I have only one foot left there.

*****************

I like chocolate sooooo much. I’m dying for chocolate. Oh, in fact I do: I just choke with one piece of it.

*****************

“I see dead people!”, said the zombie.